Pressure Suit
by Glockenspielium
Summary: Two spinning spheres, they spin together, and the spin alone. Oh I don't know how I can do this, I don't know how to get through.. They couldn't be more different, yet they couldn't be more alike. SarahJane/Doctor songfic, WARNING sadness ahead :


**Pressure Suit**

_Two spinning spheres, two spinning spheres  
__In a bed of stone._

They couldn't be more different, and yet they couldn't be more alike.

He was a Timelord; she was a human.  
He was a wanderer, landing wherever he choose, doing whatever he pleased; in the pretence of exploration rather than running away from his past.  
She was journalist, seeking out stories and lives, searching for meaning and faith; in the pretence of discovery rather than running away from her past.

_Silence is silver, staring into space  
__I wonder where you are._

All of time and space.  
There was a time when they had it at their feet, at their disposal.  
All of time and space to explore and discover, every distant sun, every lonely planet. It was their playground, their domain.  
It was home, but it was everything and everyone.

An adventure; a life.

_You're all that I've ever needed  
__I know that you won't feel it_

He hadn't even invited her to join him. She didn't need permission; the universe willed it to be.

_Drift out in the darkness, lost out on horizon  
__It's all right, it's all right_

She needed him, needed to see what he had to show and to tell her.  
She needed someone to believe in her, to encourage her, scoff at her, laugh with her and hold her if she needed to cry.  
She needed him to show herself what a wonderful person she really was.

_I'll be your respirator; I'll be your pressure suit  
__It's all right, it's all right_

He needed her, needed someone to share his stories and knowledge with.  
He needed someone to laugh at him, admire him, help him and be there with him when he couldn't help.  
He needed her to show himself how fantastic he really was.

_Violently clear, the upper atmosphere  
__Raging out your war_

She had seen him change into a new person, new features, new personality traits; and she saw him as the same.  
Most people took each body as a new person to befriend, to get used to, to understand.  
But not Sarah, she was much smarter than that.

_Somewhere far beneath your pointed tongue and teeth  
__Is where you really are_

He didn't want her to leave. He didn't have a choice.  
She might never understand it but there was no way around it. The Timelords had written the rules, they could not be disobeyed.

Her bags were packed and the TARDIS was set for her house, her home.  
They stood in silence as they travelled, each unsure as to what they could say that wouldn't hurt the other, because no matter how they argued, neither ever really wanted to cause the other pain.

_Don't want to be forgiven  
__I'll drag you down for a minute_

It had sounded stupid the moment it left her lips.  
Of course he would forget her. He was a Timelord.  
He lived forever, or close to; where as her life was just a fleeting moment, passed and gone before he would even noticed.

He eyes never left hers, though hidden by his wild curls. He couldn't bring himself to meet her gaze properly, in fear of allowing his own emotions to hurt her even more.  
He could tell that she was sadder that she was letting on, but decided not to comment.

But her words? How could he ever forget...  
'Oh Sarah Jane, don't you forget me.'

_Drift out in the darkness, lost out on horizon  
__It's all right, it's all right_

She never did, nor he.  
They both lived on, remembering every day, every moment together.

She got her job back and began writing again, throwing herself into her stories and investigations.  
He met new people, new friends- new enemies. The universe was a large place.

They never forgot, but-  
He didn't come back.

_I'll be your respirator I'll be your parachute  
__It's all right, it's all right_

It wasn't until years later. And it wasn't even intentional.

The more he put it off, the harder it seemed to be to return.  
Did she even want to see him again?  
Maybe she had moved on, put their time together behind her as a strange period of her life and gone on with the real world, the human world.  
He knew that these thoughts were idiotic, and told himself so but he still didn't return; year after year, body after body.. .

It was five regenerations later and quite by accident.

And there she was, investigating the strange occurrences at the local school; lights in the sky, surprisingly accelerated scores- Sarah Jane hadn't changed at all but was an entirely new person.  
Just like him.

And he felt all the more stupid for staying away.

_Well, two spinning spheres, they spin together  
__And the spin alone_

So similar, so alike.

He would life for hundreds of years, roaming through time and space, from the overcrowded Aurora Galaxy to the far reaches of Zeta Minor.  
He had the time to learn every language, try every exotic fruit, enjoy the smells of every new and unknown atmosphere.  
To sit beneath the orange suns and watch the cars fly overhead.  
He had so much time, so much life. He could do everything he ever wanted.

But she could not.

_Oh, I don't know how I can do this,_

He strides grew less certain as he neared the hospital.  
He didn't like goodbyes. At least, not when it really was goodbye.  
Not when it was someone who mattered.

Not when it was someone special.

_I don't know how to get through,_

Luke met him in the corridor.  
No words were spoken, but the young man placed a comforting hand on his hero's shoulder, aware of how little he could do to truly help the pain but willing to attempt it anyway.

Their eyes meet, and the truth was there.

_It's all right, it's all right_

The room was white; too white.

Stark sheets and blankets, walls and curtains only reflected the pale parlour of her face. It looked so fragile, so delicate framed by her soft brown hair.  
Though concealed by the sheets the Doctor could see her withered frame, the years had taken their toll on her.

Not on him.

_I can't stop loving you, I can't stop loving you_

The mattress hardly creased as he sat gently by her, reaching out to hold her hand in his.

A perfect fit.

_It's alright.._

Almost immediately her eyes flickered open, so young and lively in her tired face, still searching for answers.  
She saw him sitting there, just holding her hand, watching her and her lips spilt into a warm smile.

'Doctor.'

_I'll be your body armour; I'll be your pressure suit_

No further words were needed; their joined hands and matching smiles were enough for now.  
They both knew why the other was here; they both knew what was going to happen.  
They both had known about this moment for a while now, although one had tried to prolong its coming, the other had tried to run.

But they both knew there was nothing left to do now.  
And one of them had come to terms with it.

_I'll be your angel wings; I'll be your parachute_

The silence lasted for eternity, but it was a nice silence, comfortable and familiar.  
Their unmatched breathing was the only sound save for the impatient machines and monitors.

She took a deep breath and revelled in the energy it brought her, merely from his presence.  
It smelt of the universe, the stars and planets. The people and plants, the never-ending skies and sunsets.

They both remembered their adventures together, the wonders and the scares, terrors and triumphs.  
And slowly the sky grew darker as the day began to fade and give way to night.  
And slowly the shadows grew long along the ground.  
Slowly the Doctor tore away his eyes to look out the window.

And she realised there wasn't much time left.

_I'll be your only reason; I'll be your only reason_

'I... ' She paused, each breath a visible effort now, 'I know how much you hate goodb-' Her sentence remained unfinished as she dissolved into a fit of laboured coughs.  
She tried to speak again, but was silenced by his finger on her lips.

Her eyes flew upwards to meet his and saw the sadness that lied behind his expression, as unshed tears threatened to spill.  
She felt her eyes water, but her smile only grew wider.

'You know better than to be sad for me Doctor.' It was little more than a whisper now, 'I've done more than I could have ever... dreamed to. I don't remember if I ever actually told you, but...Thank you.'

She blinked and the salty tear rolled down her cheek, but she was still smiling.  
And so was he.

_I can't stop loving you, I can't stop loving you_

'Oh Sarah...' He stopped, unsure of what to say.  
Her eyelids began to flutter, she fought to keep them open but it was too hard.  
As her head sank further into the pillow her pulse began to rise. Not long now.

'Doctor?' Softer than a whisper, but she knew he could hear.  
'Don't forget me'

The tears were flowing freely now, blatant and unashamed. The smile began to leave her lips as he leant forward to place his mouth next to her ear.

'Oh Sarah Jane.' Exhales. ' I never did. I never will'

A final breath.  
Her hand was loose in his.  
He placed it over her heart, her TARDIS key secure in her curled fingers.

Just in case.

Soon he was outside again, long curls and rainbow scarf rippling in the strong wind, his coat flapping around his ankles as his feet took him back to home once more.  
Alone, once more.

_I'll be your respirator; I'll be your pressure suit..._

* * *

_BBC owns Sarah Jane, the Doctor and Luke, Aqualung owns Pressure Suit_

_In case you haven't heard the song, here's the youtube link /watch?v=BgZXW8uDiOY_

_Please review :)_

_xx J.a.J_


End file.
